Screw All Y'all: I LIKE COCONUT LACROIX

 Screw all y'all: I like coconut lacroix.

Y’all are just trying to find way to continually hurt my feelings.

Tell me why I’m I seeing images like this of Coconut LaCroix on the internet?

 An edited picture of our 45th President wearing a hat that say: "I am a diarreah person & me and my supporters drink Coconut LaCroix."

An edited picture of our 45th President wearing a hat that say: "I am a diarreah person & me and my supporters drink Coconut LaCroix."

OK FIRST OF ALL:

Don’t bring this innocent drink into this. This got nothing to do with her, and it’s ruining her brand.

I thought this was all of it. But no here are more low blows:

tries-ccnt=once
ccnt-lotion
ccn-yuck

Whatever happened to #LaCroix over boys?

Whatever happened to predictability?

The milkman, the paperboy, evening tv?

I ask these questions because...

I actually like Coconut Lacroix.

I like it a lot actually. It’s on my list of top three Lacroix flavors next to Berry and Lime.

Fortunately, I have a strong enough mind vice to CRUSH everything that comes in its path, but I did lose myself there for a minute. It took some work to get over the societal shame of liking coconut LaCroix.

It’s not that deep, but I actually avoided coconut flavored LaCroix for a few weeks because it became connected to a deplorable person like 45. Especially when you see pictures like this:

protest-45

Y'ALL:

STOP WEAPONIZING
AND CO-OPTING
COCONUT LACROIX.

I buy LaCroix weekly. I drink it every day. My local convenience store Marcus Market holds it, and it usually comes stacked in a nice cube.  Kind of like this:

(I'm to lazy to describe it well with words, so I use gifs–sue me)

Two weeks into my self/society/internet imposed ban on Coconut LaCroix, I walk into Marcus Market to buy my weekly LaCroix and guess what? ALL OF THE TOP BOXES WERE COCONUT.

Other #AlternativeFlavors were severals layers down. What was I gonna do? Move all of them around like some kind of horrible Jenga game?

I might as well have been Allison Sweeny (who?) being pushed by Ellen Degeneres.

No amount of crossfit training could help me take on this task. I’m not that masc, bruh.

But because of the shame of the internet and the possibility of someone connecting me to the one we call “Deplorable”, I got exactly what I *didn’t* deserve.

I rearranged that cube box by box. It was not glamorous. I felt like that grape lady that fell off her juicing station and is screaming “OW OW OWWWWWW OH STOP STOP”

Side note: I actually HATE listening to that video, because the sounds she makes carry her pain so intensely.

It was a painful process. Had me using sacred geometry and shit. Y'all know I'm more of a 3.14159 hoe.

As I checked out to an amused cashier that watched me do the whole thing (with good squat technique), I asked myself.

WHAT AM I DOING? WHY AM I DOING THIS?

Why am I making a choice based on shame? Why did I just make a purchase decision based on other peoples' perception rather than what *I* like?

I feel like people do that all the time.

Societal pressures make people buy homes even when the numbers don’t make sense.

They lease cars they can’t afford so they can impress other people as they pimp the curb.

Y’all become label hoes just so you can fit in.

AND FOR WHAT THO?


Here's the bottom line:

These people aren’t gonna be the ones living in your skin for the rest of your life. *YOU* will be the one to bear the weight of your personal decisions more than anyone else. Make decisions based on what you want. Definitely don’t let other people make money decisions for you.


I found the energy to crush this with my mind. The next time I went to Marcus Market, I would buy WHATEVER flavor I wanted.

If it’s Coconut, then screw all y’all. I like it.


ALSO:

Can we stop this debate. 

It’s pronounced “La Croy”.

I know, it’s French spelling, and I know you want to be fancy and signal to people how cultured you are.

But sorry gurl, it’s pronounced “La Croy”. The company herself asked you to say it this way so don’t be rude.

I mean I guess you can even use *this*  information to be just as smug about it like I’m doing with you right now. But do your thing playa.

Enough LaCroix discourse. Let's let it bring us joy like the old days.

Find Your True North

  • What decisions are you making based on what how other people will perceive you? Does it also intersect with what YOU want or is it just for them?
  • Is basing your decisions more on what others want something you want to keep doing? What are some ways to put yourself first?
  • Evaluate people's expectations of you. Is this something you want?
  • How has caring more about other's expectations affected your purchasing decisions?